Suckers at the Bank

The Pickle was doing errands this afternoon, which took him into the bank. We had not previously seen this, however, where the tellers had populated the trays with suckers. The Pickle, as astute a sense of smell as any two year-old, was able to tell something was up as soon as he walked into the bank.

“Momma, pick me up.” The Mother of the Pickle saw the teller trays and tried to ignore him.

“Momma! Momma! Pick me up!” He tried several more times only to be rebuffed, and tried to take matters into his own hands. He turned to the elderly man next to him in line.

“Hey you! Pick me up!” The man was initially taken aback, but when he actually started to reach down to pick up the Pickle, the MOTP gave in and lifted him off the ground. Now at “teller level” he began scooping up suckers by the handful. Realizing that all of them were the same way, he tried to walk to the next teller window for more bounty.

“Pickle! Put those back! It’s only meant to be one per person!” The Pickle was undeterred by this, and again turned to the elderly man.

“Scuse me! Can I have your sucker? Pease?!” And of course for some reason people keep giving him what he wants.

“Of course you can darling.” He smiled and looked down the line.

“Can I have your sucker too?”

“Oh, sure sweetie, I don’t need it!” And he ended up collecting about ten or twelve of them after the teller told him he could take as many as he wanted. The MOTP tried one last time to get the Pickle to put them back and reached for them, so the Pickle played his trump card. He ┬álicked the bundle of suckers – still with the wrapper on – with enough saliva to drip down the sides and onto his hand.

“Can’t give them back now, Momma! Dey have GERMS.”

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Trip to the Bank

Seeing as how the Father of the Gremlin is almost always working (slaving away every night and day, tirelessly toiling for his family – if I do say so myself), the Gremlin usually travels with his mother (the MOTG) to run various errands, including the bank.

The last time he went in there, the Gremlin led his mother over to the kiosk, pulled out two deposit slips, gave one to his mother, and then snagged one of the pens hanging from the chain down to his level.

The MOTG, figuring he was just doodling, filled out her deposit slip, and stepped into the line next to the kiosk. The Gremlin filled out his deposit slip, and stepped into the empty line (and closed window) next to his mother. Apparently he can’t read that well yet…

The people before and after the MOTG in line noticed the Gremlin and chuckled at the three year-old standing in front of the ‘closed’ sign, but the Tellers noticed as well. After he stood there for several minutes – just as the MOTG was getting to the front of the line – one of the Tellers opened up the Gremlin’s line and took his deposit slip. She took the slip back to the pinboard and posted it up on the wall, walked back, stopped by a drawer, and dropped something in the return tray.

The Gremlin strained up to reach it, and pulled out – A SUCKER! He turned around, surprised his mother wasn’t done yet, and started out the door.

“Hey! Stop there, buddy! Wait for Momma!” The Gremlin turned around and trundled back to the line. He handed the sucker up.

“Please open this for me?”

“Buddy, I’m not sure you should have that right now – it’s too close to dinner.”

The MOTG had dropped her purse down to Gremlin-level, though, and he struck again. He pulled her phone out of the purse and flipped it open. He paused, and then used the worst threat he knew.

“Be nice, momma, or I call daddy!”