Trip to the Bank

Seeing as how the Father of the Gremlin is almost always working (slaving away every night and day, tirelessly toiling for his family – if I do say so myself), the Gremlin usually travels with his mother (the MOTG) to run various errands, including the bank.

The last time he went in there, the Gremlin led his mother over to the kiosk, pulled out two deposit slips, gave one to his mother, and then snagged one of the pens hanging from the chain down to his level.

The MOTG, figuring he was just doodling, filled out her deposit slip, and stepped into the line next to the kiosk. The Gremlin filled out his deposit slip, and stepped into the empty line (and closed window) next to his mother. Apparently he can’t read that well yet…

The people before and after the MOTG in line noticed the Gremlin and chuckled at the three year-old standing in front of the ‘closed’ sign, but the Tellers noticed as well. After he stood there for several minutes – just as the MOTG was getting to the front of the line – one of the Tellers opened up the Gremlin’s line and took his deposit slip. She took the slip back to the pinboard and posted it up on the wall, walked back, stopped by a drawer, and dropped something in the return tray.

The Gremlin strained up to reach it, and pulled out – A SUCKER! He turned around, surprised his mother wasn’t done yet, and started out the door.

“Hey! Stop there, buddy! Wait for Momma!” The Gremlin turned around and trundled back to the line. He handed the sucker up.

“Please open this for me?”

“Buddy, I’m not sure you should have that right now – it’s too close to dinner.”

The MOTG had dropped her purse down to Gremlin-level, though, and he struck again. He pulled her phone out of the purse and flipped it open. He paused, and then used the worst threat he knew.

“Be nice, momma, or I call daddy!”


And His Life of Crime Begins

So there was a rash of disappearing items in the infant ward of the child care. Bottles would be gone out of cubbyholes, with only their labels remaining. The rash of items continues for several weeks, and included several pacifiers, bottles, and even a cell phone. Before the phone was lost all the items could be written off, but once the phone went missing, an investigation of the employees began. When all the employees turned out to be clean, there was a massive effort to search the entire infant section.

That’s when they found “The Drawer”. It was gruesome: the shells of discarded bottles and husks of used pacifiers filled the drawer, with the missing cell phone in the middle of it all.

After discovering “the drawer,” the investigation turned internal – watching to see which of the infants knew of the drawer. Next time the Mother of the Gremlin went to pick up the little jewel thief she was greeted by the building’s handyman who was installing a locking latch on the gate to the cubbies. Now all he has to do is learn to use keys…