Look Ma, I’m On TV Cutting The Ribbon!

I always expected the Gremlin to make the news. I always expected him to do something unexpected or new and be noticed for it. He will be on King5 news tonight for a simple park-opening ceremony.

The way this happened, however, was in true Gremlin fashion. As a person who has conducted physical security checks, it’s interesting how much access you can get just by deciding you belong there, and acting like it. The Gremlin has decided the new park by us is ‘his’ and thus walks around and checks everything out like he owns it. When he went to go check out the ribbon-cutting ceremony, he walked right through where you weren’t supposed to be and up to the committee members who were set to cut the ribbon, and the table holding the six pairs of scissors. He picked one up, and was immediately engaged by the news.

“So, you’re here to help cut the ribbon?” the camera swiveled to his face and the microphone came with it. The Gremlin stood his ground.

“Yes I am.” and he turned around to look at the committee members, who were now sizing up the pint-sized intrusion with interest. Several other kids picked up on this with cries of “I want to too!” and a helpful aide promptly provided them with the other five pairs of scissors. And before you could say ‘Bob’s your uncle’ the ribbon was cut. We only know it was not supposed to go this way as the Mother of the Gremlin happened to overhear one of the committee members being interviewed later about not getting to cut the ribbon.

So, tonight, you will have the opportunity to see the Gremlin in a ribbon-cutting ceremony he engineered. As well as a few clips of the Pickle. Most likely they will show his master of the climbing wall, and subsequent cries of domination from the top. That’s right, the Pickle (at 1 year, 1 month) scaled the climbing wall to the top and then was so pleased with himself began screaming at everyone.

Alternatively, they may have the Pickle jealously guarding his new favorite place – the sandbox. Following his brother’s footsteps of deciding he owns places, the Gremlin stood at the edge of the sandbox, arms extended, holding a shovel and a handful of sand. Any child foolish enough to dare the Perfidity of the Pickle received a handful of sand to the face as a warning. Those who dared beyond the range of the poorly-thrown sand (his fine motor isn’t quite there yet), were greeted with a smack on the face from the shovel.

Also unfortunately, many of the neighborhood mothers found this hysterical and were encouraging their children to enter the sandbox without warning, and then laughing hysterically when the Pickle struck.

It looks like fame has found both my children, slightly earlier than I expected…

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Negotiations and Vaccinations

The Gremlin went in for his final round of vaccinations today – getting up to date so that he could head off to kindergarten in the fall. He went in knowing what he was getting into, but once he got there the screaming started. It took not one, not two, not three, but seven – that’s right, SEVEN nurses (and one doctor who came in to figure out what happened to all the nurses) to get him to start considering the shots. Unfortunately, one of the nurses tried to bribe the Gremlin.

“What if I gave you THREE stickers? Would you sit nicely then?” The Gremlin, always with an entrepreneurial spirit, started out with a value proposition.

“Would stickers make you not feel any pain?” In the end he talked them up to four stickers, two suckers, and a Spider-Man action figure. The nurse again made the mistake of asking how he felt.

“Will you sit nicely now?”

“You think this stuff is enough to make you sit still and get STABBED by a couple needles? Why don’t you try it then?” The nurse stood for a moment, without anything to say, so the Gremlin started again. “This is NOT enough to make me not feel pain. But it’s a start.”

Finally, once the Gremlin’s shots were over with, a new challenge came up as the Pickle had disappeared. The Stupendous Seven nurses who had been out-negotiated by a five-year old fanned out to find the errant baby, and the Mother of the Gremlin was not holding her breath. It was a good thing too as ten minutes later they found the doctor – who had previously come in to figure out where all his nurses were – was happily playing with the Pickle in exam room 10.

“He’s my only patient that doesn’t yell at me.” With this adorable accolade, the Mother of the Gremlin went to take him back.

“Pickle, do you want to come to Mommy?” The Pickle, in burgeoning Gremlin form, squealed, grabbed on to our family doctor and said:

“Nono, momma! NO NO!”