Keep Your Friends Close, And Then Hit Them

The Gremlin at the Museum of Flight’s Free Family Fun with Firemen Day

The Gremlin has been in rare form the last few days – driving his parents crazy like never before, so the Mother of the Gremlin jumped at the chance to take him and the Arch-Gremlin to the playground to drive each other crazy.

During a lull in their playing, the Arch-Gremlin turned to the Gremlin and smacked him on the shoulder. The Gremlin didn’t miss a beat, and spoke softly.

“Jasp-air, if you do that again I’m going to have to hit you back.” The Arch-Gremlin, also four, decided she needed to respond to this.

“If you do that I’ll cry and tell my mom.” Unlike last time, the Gremlin was one step ahead of her.

“But I’ll tell my mom first, so let’s just not.” This was apparently acceptable to the Arch-Gremlin.

“Okay.”

Just a few minutes later, she turned and smacked him again.

“Jasp-air! We just talked about this!”

“I know. I just wanted to see what would happen.”

“Okay, but I am getting very frustrated with you.”

A short time later they were playing at the water table, when the Gremlin turned and sprayed the Arch-Gremlin in the face. As soon as she recovered, the Gremlin looked over and bounced his curls in innocence.

“What? It was an accident.”

“No it wasn’t!”

“You’re right, it wasn’t. But i’m pretty sure it wasn’t an accident when you hit me earlier.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

And with that, the two went back to their playing without further incident.

Favorite Toy of the Week: R2D2 Play-Doh Set

The Umbrella Cord

The Gremlin and his ridiculous mop of hair:

Thanks to bonus programs and credits on our insurance, last week the Gremlin took a class on what to expect as a first-time sibling.

Throughout the class, the Gremlin was most un-Gremlin-like. He sat relatively still (only moving to switch sitting positions), raised his hand and waited to be called on, and contributed answers.

This quiet, respectful behavior lasted only through the class, though, as demonstrated when the Mother of the Gremlin decided to take the little darling to McDonald’s as a treat for being so good.

Upon getting in line, a gregarious Seattleite began to strike up a conversation with the Gremlin.

“So are you excited?”

“Yes I’m excited, my mom never takes me to McDonald’s!”

“No, are you excited to be a big brother?”

The Gremlin hasn’t really grasped the idea that other people can figure things out by looking (similar to how the MOTG knows his room isn’t clean at bedtime, or that he ate the chocolate), and was confused.

“How did you know?!”

“Because I can see your mother has a baby in her tummy.”

The Gremlin was newly informed on this subject and began laughing.

“No she doesn’t!” The man was confused by this.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, but I thought you were going to be a brother.”

“I am.”

“Then where’s the baby if it’s not in your mother’s belly?”

“It’s in her uterus!” The man was impressed at the Gremlin’s technical knowledge.

“How did you know that?”

“You should go to the baby class at the hospital. You would learn a lot! I bet you don’t even know what an umbrella cord is!”

“You’re right, I have no idea.”

Random Picture Update: The Gremlin At ‘Touch A Truck

Favorite Toy of the Week: Boba Fett helmet

Equal Opportunity Embarasser

The Gremlin proved his social prowess once again last night as he went from manipulating one crowd to trying to manipulate another. As active and charitable citizens, the Mother of the Gremlin is a member of the Woodland Park Zoo. She decided to bring the Gremlin out for a special trip to their Member’s Night.

The Gremlin was enjoying his evening, partaking in the bouncy house, eating stick after stick of free cotton candy. And it was only when he was slowed by a line for his most favorite event of all – the inflatable obstacle course ending in a slide.

After his fifth time through, he and the MOTG found themselves in line next to a very nice, very well-meaning, but ultimately cataclysmic man in line with his son. After a bit of conversational chatter, he sparked the Gremlin.

“Too bad you’re not in labor, then you wouldn’t have to wait in line,” the nice man’s off hand comment made the Gremlin’s eyes light up, and he turned towards his mother.

“What’s labor?”

“It’s when the baby is coming right now, so if you are out somewhere, sometimes you don’t have to wait in line.” The Gremlin sat quietly digesting this. That scary, quiet, thoughtful look came over his face, and the Gremlin stepped out to look down the length of the line.

He turned back to the MOTG, and there, a few feet out of the line, he screamed as loud as a 4 year-old is able to.

“Everybody my mom’s having a baby right now so it’s gotta be my turn RIGHT NOW!”

There was the sound of beer snorting through a man’s nose as the drink of the gentleman behind them was propelled through his nasal passages by a quick laugh, but other than that a silence settled across the entirety of the Woodland Park zoo.

After the MOTG fended off seven or eight offers to call an ambulance and tried to stand in line as inconspicuously as possible, however the Gremlin was distraught.

“I don’t understand why I didn’t get to go next…”

Favorite Toy of the Week: Playmobile Pirate Ship

The Blame Game

The Gremlin headed out today, to terrorize the rest of the families of the city. He and the Arch-Gremlin went out to the art museum to absorb the local culture. The Gremlin took his time moving through the rooms – the Mother of the Gremlin and the Arch-Gremlin’s mother were enjoying the scenery slowly as well.

As it frequently occurs in these places, most of the sounds were muted, and silence fell around the Gremlin frequently. Of course, during the quietest of such times, the Gremlin struck.

While looking closer at one of the exhibits, the Gremlin felt his stomach rumble and decided to pass gas. With a clap and squeak the silence was broken, and surprised looks began coming the Gremlin’s way.

Completely undeterred, the Gremlin looked at the nearest adult – a man dressed business casually who had probably wandered in over his lunch break – and spoke very loudly.

“Why did you do that? Man that really stinks!” The man’s face went from white to cartoon character “exploding head” red in seconds, and he turned tail to another part of the museum. The Mother of the Gremlin waited for the looks to subside and then headed over.

“Buddy, did you blame that man for farting when you did it?”

“You bet I did!”

Favorite Toy of the Week: Lego Bionicle Dropship