“I don’t like spaghetti. It makes me angry.”
We were revisiting Psych Season 1 the other day, and the Mother of the Gremlin and I thought the Gremlin was just playing Legos on the ottoman, unfortunately he was paying attention – as usual – and piped up with a question.
“How come the police are in that guy’s apartment?” The MOTG and I shared a glance as I picked my words very carefully – attempting to shield the Gremlin from some of the more gruesome facts of life.
“Someone got very ouchy, and the police are trying to figure out who did it. They’re helpers, like firemen.” The Gremlin, however, caught us both off guard.
“How about the dead guy on the couch? Maybe he made the man really ouchy.”
“Ummmmmmm, he’s the man who got really ouchy.”
“Oh, what about that alive guy walking over him?”
Favorite Toy of the Week: Penguin Stocking
The Gremlin has been feeling a bit under the weather lately, and was excited to get some fruit in his system. So much, he didn’t want to share.
The Mother of the Gremlin set out a bowl of raspberries, and the Gremlin tore into them. He got up to clear his bowl, and returned with the box of raspberries (minus a mouthful or two). The MOTG interjected.
“Save some of those for daddy, okay?”
“But momma, I don’t want to get scurry!”
“What you always tell me I’ll get if I don’t eat all my fruit!”
“You mean ‘scurvy?'”
“Oh yeah, that.”
“But if daddy doesn’t get any, won’t he get scurvy?” The Gremlin looked up at the MOTG, his face now a reddish version of the one in his profile.
“Well, momma, that’s up to daddy.”
Favorite Toy of the Week: Lego Architecture Series: Space Needle
I tell people that the Gremlin deliberately embarrasses us because, well, he does. The Mother of the Gremlin took him to one of our favorite sandwich shops the other day, and the Gremlin, who had been whining all day, saw the store and took off – almost as if he was on a mission.
We should have been more aware, but we let him into the store and stepped in line to order. Suddenly, we hear the Gremlin’s voice and turn to see him talking with a black man waiting for his food.
“‘Scuse me.” The man looked down and the Mother of the Gremlin made this small moan in the back of her throat, and then looked away, as if that would make the Gremlin stop.
“Where are all the black people in Seattle?” The man’s eyes grew wide and then started looking around the store, probably to see if he was being Punk’d.
“I’m sorry, what?” The Gremlin pressed on.
“I have been looking and I cannot find any! There were LOTS in Chicago!” The man, thankfully, had a sense of humor and fired back.
“I don’t know. Would you like to come back to my house? There are a lot there…” The Gremlin’s eyes lit up. He ran over and plucked the backpack out of the MOTG’s hands and walked back over.
“Okay, I’m ready!”
I have been playing a card game with the Gremlin recently that he received while Trick-Or-Treating. It’s a game of WAR played with mini-cards with the Disney’s Cars vehicles printed on them.
We’ll each put one down, he’ll claim he won, and then I’ll ask him to count both of them out, and ask him which one he gets to last – emphasizing which is “higher” and which is “lower.” He will yell (either way), and then squeal if he actually won. This has apparently rubbed off on him, as he showed in the store the other day.
The Gremlin was at Value Village the other day when he scared the Mother of the Gremlin by going into a conniption in the store. When the MOTG finally managed to calm him down, she realized the Gremlin had found the toy to end all toys:
The Gremlin clutched his prize and tried not to hyperventilate while trying to put together a cohesive sentence.
“M-M-Momma! M-m-m-m-momma! I want this! Please I can get it?!”
“I don’t know buddy, I don’t think you have enough money…” The Gremlin’s face lit up and he jumped on his opportunity.
“I do! I do! I have five dollars. This is two dot nine-nine. That is almost three. Three is less than five. I will have two dollars and one cent left over after I buy this!”
The words were barely out of his mouth when he bolted to the front of the store, the MOTG only catching up with him after he made it through the line and had his fire truck on the counter, though the cashier was staring at him a bit inquisitively.
Favorite Toy of the Week: Lego Police Helicopter (in conjunction with his other Lego fire sets) and of course the fire truck mentioned above
“No, I know it. I can see it. I know anything. Trust me daddy. This syrup has waffles in it, and when we get home, I’ll take a bite of it, I’ll taste the waffles, and I’ll say, ‘Daddy I was right and you were wrong.'”
About an hour after putting the Gremlin to bed, I was happily watching Chuck the other night when I noticed that the hall – usually dark – had a sliver of light shining on the carpet.
I was approaching the hallway and my foot creaked on the floor when the light disappeared all the way. The door squeaked firmly shut, and the handle clicked in. When I attempted to open the door, it seemed stuck unless you gave it a bit of a push, in which case it seemed like there was a 4 year-old on the other side putting all his hefty 35 pound body weight against the door to hold it closed.
Apparently, it was necessary for not only his stuffed animals to assist, but also his entire platoon of Billy Blaze firefighter Rescue Heroes. (Oh, and it’s even better writing this with the Gremlin here, because he can tell me that I missed one.)
Apparently once the cabal was assembled he thought he had marshaled enough force to retake: his prized Halloween Candy. If only the dreaded Daddy hadn’t interrupted just before the surgical strike (which most likely involved scaling the book case in the dining room).
I wasn’t sure what I was more proud of – that he was planning a strike to get his candy back, or the fact that he had the guts to turn his bedroom light on and prepare for it.
Sent back to bed to contemplate his strategy, the Gremlin was left with his own thoughts (such as getting so excited the firemen stopped right outside his house this morning), and was fast asleep within seconds.
Favorite Toy of the Week: Lego Architecture Series: John Hancock Building
“Those cookies are for my cake?! I don’t want my cake to be more sugary! I want it to be healthy. So can I have some of those cookies now?”